Most of the beliefs that hold people back aren't ones they'd ever say out loud. "My team can't do it alone." "If I don't respond to emails within the hour, people will get annoyed." They surface quietly, and they shape behavior long before anyone examines them.
Farrah Mitra uses a model called Immunity to Change to help leaders identify these assumptions and test whether they're actually true, rather than treating them as fact.
No matter how much I wanted the goal, an untested assumption was already deciding the outcome.
A Personal Example
Farrah wanted to eat healthier for years and could never follow through, despite being someone deeply committed to self-improvement. The block wasn't discipline. It was an untested assumption.
Working through the Immunity to Change model, she uncovered the real belief: eating healthier would take time away from her kids and her husband, time she already felt was scarce, rooted partly in growing up with immigrant parents who worked long hours.
She tested the assumption directly, cooking healthy meals four nights a week for one week. Part of it was true — it did take more time. But the fear of losing family time never materialized. A year later, eating well had become routine rather than a source of guilt.
The Same Pattern Shows Up in Leadership
One of Farrah's executive clients, referred to as Frank, prided himself on being a highly available, hands-on manager. He also avoided speaking up in executive meetings and rarely made time for longer-term, forward-looking thinking.
Underneath that pattern were assumptions he'd never said aloud: "I need to be there for my team or they won't be okay." "Working with the exec team creates personal anxiety." "My voice isn't important."
Being a hands-on manager wasn't just generosity. It was also a comfortable distraction from conversations that felt riskier.
Naming the Assumption Is the First Step
Coaching started by getting Frank to say the assumptions out loud, in his own words, rather than leaving them as background noise.
Useful journaling questions here: What about this is hardest? What am I most trying to avoid? Where might this be coming from?
Naming an assumption doesn't resolve it. It makes it visible enough to test.
Testing the Assumption With a Safe, Moderate Experiment
Frank reorganized his calendar to create room for executive-level work, found specific moments in meetings to speak up, and focused on building one genuine relationship with a fellow executive he already trusted.
He also restructured his own team, giving others more ownership rather than treating his constant availability as the only way to support them.
The result wasn't a loss of connection with his team. It was a shift toward a more balanced, bigger-picture kind of leadership — one his team also benefited from as they stepped into more responsibility themselves.
Your leaders are
carrying more than they need to. Let's change that.
High-performing leaders do not need more pressure. They need the confidence, clarity, and practical tools to lead difficult moments without burning themselves out. That work starts with a 30-minute conversation.
